We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
– Step 1, The Big Book
The first time I uttered, “I’m an alcoholic”, it was one of the hardest things I had ever struggled to say.
It’s not an easy admission to make. It implies that something has complete control over me. That something has mastery over me. That this thing–alcoholism–is part of my identity. Admitting it to myself was hard, but admitting it to others was even harder. At least at first. I didn’t want to come to grips with the fact that I couldn’t control my drinking. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to admit it–to myself or to anyone else. For years, I didn’t admit it. Or wouldn’t. Or both. Probably both. Continue reading
My Old Enemy Returns
Back in February 2012, I had one of those “life defining” moments. After sitting with a faithful friend and having an honest talk about my drinking, I came to the realization that I had a problem. A big problem. A problem that had lasted for almost 20 years, and yet that I had somehow been almost completely self-deceived about. Continue reading
Taken from February of 2012
I am an alcoholic. I’m not sure if I really believe that yet, but God, in His grace is showing me that my sin (in regards to drinking) is not just something that I just do “too much” or that I need to “cut back on” but is a deep rooted sin of idolatry that has spanned the course of just short of two decades. Continue reading